In a Gospel based course I have been doing for breaking free from the slavery of an ED, it discusses how I was turning to food, filling up on it, where I should be turning to the Lord and filling up on him. He will satisfy that hole that I am (was) trying to fill with my ED behaviors. He is the only thing that will truly satisfy. We can become a slave to literally anything! Food, tv, gratification from attention, drugs, even STRESS*! (*future post on that coming soon and it is AMAZING...).
This video below I watched in church at the beginning of the sermon a few weeks ago, and it really hit me deep ....that empty feeling is like the gas light on a car signaling you are going to run out of gas, need to fill up! And with an ED you let your gas tank go empty, you're broken down and alone.... then instead of turning to God and filling up on him, we fill up on ....Mr. ED.
"Our glorious power is from God and is not our own. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit!..we get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going!" 2 cor. 4:7-9
I have been really into the author Gary Thomas's books. He is a christian author and writes from a true understanding of the scriptures. I just read his "Sacred Marriage" and oh boy! Sooo good. A few excerpts from the book.. "To spiritually benefit from marriage, we have to be honest. We have to look at our disappointments, own up to ugly attitudes, and confront our selfishness." and another favorite that really hit home: "What marriage has done for me is hold up a mirror to my sin. It forces me to face myself honestly and consider my character flaws, selfishness, and anti-Christian attitudes, encouraging me to be sanctified and cleansed and to grow in godliness." I can't even explain how much I have grown in just the 5 months I've been married (okay I've grown 2".. ;) ) So much of your true inner behavior/self gets exposed & some of it is painful! Definitely thought I was a champion patient person and not a controlling wife but man.... I have surprised myself. It has inspired so much growth in me, my relationship with God, and my relationship with my husband!
He has several other books that I highly recommend. One in particular that has helped me in my ED recovery is "Every Body Matters". Rather than looking at working out to get better figure/look better, it is about cultivating stronger, well-nourished bodies that are 'instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.' "...By looking at your body as an instrument rather than an ornament, you’ll find new and compelling motivation to embrace the kind of active lifestyle that fortifies your soul." WHEW! that was a lot. If I was a bug I'd be a book worm :)
Current Music:
hmmmmmm........ I love pretty much all music! soundtracks, celtic, a lot of the hit songs lately, folk/banjo, country, etc. Lately I've been listening to more upbeat songs that are good to run to!
Current Guilty Pleasure:
Brussels sprouts?? lol not anything to consider "guilt" worthy but perhaps gross to some. They are divine!
Did anyone else not know they came on an amazing stalk like this?!
Current Nail Color:
Remnants of a loud red. I have a hard time painting my nails as my right hand is so undomesticated and wild when it holds nail polish! I can't get a proper grip.
My right hand.
Current Drink:
Dunkin' Donuts "Blueberry Muffin" flavored coffee... 7-11 sells blueberry coffee and when I saw this on the shelf at Target I couldn't resist! Irresistible smell and a taste to match!
Current Food:
An everything bagel bagel-thin (note*, I choose bagel-thin vs a big bagel because I just can't handle how thick a regular bagel is!) with a slightly gooey egg... a few pieces of black-forest ham and a good ol' slice of processed cheese :)
Current Favorite Show:
I don't have "cable" but on netflix I love watching "How I met your Mother". SO funny! and much less raunchy/more down to earth like old sitcom'sin the 90's used to be!
Current Wish List:
For my husbands deployment to not get extended! There are rumors that his command will get sent to another part of the world for some assisting in a current event that happened, but I'm hoping they get to come home on their scheduled day back. I miss him so much :'(
Last kiss before he deployed :(
Current needs:
My husband ;) Uhm lets see... need.... a new mattress! haha. When the hubs and I first moved into our condo we were in a bit of a rush and got a new mattress off Craigslist that was used as a display for pictures. It was super cheap which is why we got it. But so hard! oh my gosh I wake up so sore from it every morning! I always migrate to the couch downstairs and get in some R&R from my night lol.Or maybe... there is a pea under our mattress?! ;)
Does anyone remember reading that story; "The Princess and the Pea" ?
Current Indulgence:
Taking time to RELAX! laying and reading and not feeling guilty about it.
Current Blessing:
My church. I am so blessed to have such an amazing church to attend every Sunday. It has been so hard finding a church that was properly representing the Gospel. There are so many very-judgmental (but they are blind to it) Christian churches, and also so many that are way to lax in Christianity and what it is. Our pastor is wonderful, and the fellowship is awesome. We podcast/vodcast the sermons if you are interested!
And in case you were wondering where the church name came from... :
Well, here it is. I have finally started a blog! Every time I've had the itch to start blogging I get stumped on what my url and blog name should be and start thinking way too deep and then my inner perfectionist starts to take over and of course no title is good enough! >__< So today is monumental; my inner over thinker & perfectionist are away for the weekend and I came up with my blog name! (after a lot of deep thinking). Steady FoFanidy. How did I come up with this, you might wonder?
Ah ha! Looks like I've got a first blog post topic. (I actually sat here wondering what I was gonna blog about). So... let me begin. Growing up, I was quite the daddy's girl (which has molded who I am) My name being Leana, my dad got all fatherly & called me FoFana! "Hey fofana how's your day?"..."Leana fofana get your butt over here and pick up this mess!" And so on and so forth. As for the Steady part, I was going to have Steadfast; meaning "firmly loyal or constant; unswerving... faithful." But softened/shortened it to steady, And Fo-fana was meshed with humanity: "the quality or condition of being human; human nature", & Insanity: "Extreme foolishness or irrationality", Basically my life in a nutshell, I am steadfast with my morals & faith, but there is also a steady flow of insanity in my humanity :) So! There you have it... the birth of my blog! Just like a newborn baby, it couldn't be released from the blog hospital without having a name. Now I must love and nuture it, and watch it grow! :)
